Wondering

So sometimes I wonder where I'm going in life. I have a really good job right now working as an intern. I'm getting paid way more than I ever have in my life and it's really nice. Though it's still not enough to hold me over completely.

There's no way I could afford my own car right now or help to pay with the mortgage payments. Steve is paying for the house all on his own right now and I feel terrible about it sometimes. He's trying to manage a budget for himself and for me and we're not even married. He's got enough money to do that, it's just that I feel like I don't contribute enough. I do my fair share of house work and I do have to deal with him being cranky nearly every single night of the week, but I'm still not sure it's really fair. He says that he doesn't care about that at all, but I don't know if I buy that. I guess I'm just paranoid that I feel like I'm stealing his money.

I'm just going to have enough money to pay for school next this year. I'm probably going to have to go to MATC and try to save up enough money to pay for UWM next year. There's no way that I'm going to be able to graduate in 3 years. It'll be at least 3 1/2 which I wish wasn't the case. I guess I"m starting to get a little stressed about this whole thing again which isn't good. It's like I can't stop thinking about all the things that could go wrong. I get the feeling that Steve really thinks there is something wrong with me.

I sometimes wonder if he's waiting to see if I can get back on my feet before he wants to commit to spending the rest of his life with me. That thought just makes me worry more so I really need to stop doing that. As long as I keep cool and do well in school this next semester I know I'll be on a track to do a lot better.

Well I guess that's all. I don't feel like writing an entire novel again. It would be nice to waste a bunch of time, but there just isn't that much to write about this time around.